Through the teenage years

Emptiness

 

I stand here now, an explosion of joy,

warming hearts around me, till my time ends.

Bright as a star, in the minds of others,

not anticipating the pain that life may send.

 

Seem to walk down my path, like a stroll in the country,

each step bringing knowledge and years.

Certain as always as the breeze blows by,

Ignorantly avoiding the fast growing fears.

 

Yet in that bright light, burning so well,

a flaw, true to existence, a small hole.

Far back, deeper than the onlooker’s gaze,

unbalances the wings of my soul.

 

The temptation to unleash, that which is deep down within,

mocks hard, smiling and taunting.

The window to my soul, the glazed over eyes,

covered with mist, the fear, the haunting.

 

Invisible it may be, to the windows of others,

a disguise so cunning and great.

Yet the glass of my eye, hiding my spirit,

never shatters, won’t crack, never breaks.

 

In the midst of a million, I stand as one,

a different beat to my unsettled heart.

The immense power inside, testing my limits,

crying out for the healing to start.

 

Must hold on, never giving up,

never say never is true.

Wondering how long that I must wait,

to see the inevitable through.

 

Time to stop, and look carefully around,

to see what the future may hold.

Never forgetting the past, present, the journey,

Unveiling the stories untold.

 

Hear me now, and hear me true,

the voice of me within my mind.

The hole tears through me like teeth of steel,

shadowing all that it can blindly find.

 

If my leaf may fall from the tree of life,

let it be known the emptiness I did defeat.

Fought courageously, with valour and honour,

till my last breath, last heart beat.

 

Beat, beat…beat………..shatter.

 

 

By Naziyah Mahmood (17 years old)

 


 

 

Escape

I have no feeling, yet I crave life,

no distance can stand in my way.

I am like a prisoner behind iron bars,

underestimated by all everyday.

 

I have murdered the masses and have felt no guilt,

caused wars and corruption without reason.

Sent many to their graves, agile, unnoticed,

stopping for no person, day, no season.

 

Yet I have saved populations, as far back as can be remembered,

and have given chances, exponential, for life.

Mending the hearts of many, helping through fears,

undoing the struggles, pains and strife.

 

I have seen all, more than the eldest of men,

I truly say that no man has more power than I.

No mere mortal can contemplate or achieve my strength,

yet only with this existence can I get by.

 

Lived a lonely existence, I have mastered loneliness,

overcome anger, loss, grief and fear.

Confused I am not for I know the truth,

know all that’s to see, know all that’s to hear.

 

Mankind has tried to control me, failed,

now my importance to them has ceased.

I shall not be silenced, there will not be a day,

like the Sun rising from the East.

 

Yet I know one day I shall die, swift as a breeze,

only the Lord can decide my fate.

Like a cloud, first seen and moving so swift,

then evaporate, disappear, disintegrate.

 

I am like a prisoner behind iron bars,

remember me forever and remember me true.

My anonymity is strong, but respect my existence,

death to the world, I will see through.

 

…For I am time itself.

 

By Naziyah Mahmood (16 years old)

 

 

© Naziyah Mahmood, 2014.

8 thoughts on “Through the teenage years

  1. Pingback: First poem is up (one from the teenage years) – Escape | Naziyah Mahmood

    • “I wrote that when I was about 15/16 years old. I remember sitting there, thinking about how history repeats itself, and about all those who have fallen (and have yet to fall) in the timescale given to humans in this world. I often like to try to ‘put myself’ in other people’s shoes, so that I can gain a better understanding of the wide spectrum of emotions and feelings out there… but then it hit me!
      That in all of this contemplation, and from all of the stories I’ve read, I’ve never seen the happenings of the World taking place from the angle of “time”.
      Yes, time may be a unit of measurement, something which isn’t exactly ‘breathing’…. but God created it… so to me, it’s alive!

      I sat and thought about (if it could speak, and in human terms) how Time would feel if it were to describe all it had seen. It dawned on me… it would feel like a prisoner of a kind.
      We read stories about undead creatures, like vampires, who live for extremely long periods of time, and in there is always the description of their lonely existence.
      If they feel lonely, then it’s only expected that Time would have been through that millions of times more, from before our history books tell us exist.

      And so, I came up with that!
      Honestly, when I write poetry, I ‘literally’ write it in like 10 minutes! I just put my pen to the paper and let my thoughts go crazy… and I don’t ever re-edit!
      (Never get time, that and I want those raw emotions to flow through to the reader as they were felt whilst writing!)”

  2. Pingback: Emptiness – Second poem is up in the Teenage years section! | Naziyah Mahmood

  3. What an inspiration you are to me as a mother. You are a beautiful soul. I really enjoy your poetry which is a facet in your life’s journey. Your strength is reflected in your gentleness. Blessed be.

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