(Written as part of The Daily Post: Daily Prompt – Binding Judgement: Does it ever make sense to judge a book by its cover — literally or metaphorically? Tell us about a time you did, and whether that was a good decision or not.)
They say that first impressions mean everything, and that they create the basis on which we form the character of others in our minds.
However, I think it’s pretty safe to say that I’m not one to jump to conclusions straight away, and would never wish to judge another person at all.
Friend: ‘She’s really horrible. I can’t believe she did that!’
Me: ‘For all we know, it could have happened for any reason. Don’t judge her when you don’t know her story.’
Friend: ‘Whatever. Naz, you’re too much of a goody-two-shoes.’
I’m the type of person who trusts someone straight off the bat, as soon as I meet them, and consider them a friend after a simple “hello!” As stupid as it may be, that’s me in a nutshell.
It is in human nature that, no matter how long we try to get to know people, at one point or another we do pass a mental judgement on what that person is like, their meaning in our own lives, and whether we would put them in the ‘good’, ‘neutral’ or ‘bad’ mental boxes.
I deeply believe that only God can judge, as He is the ultimate judge, but it is only natural that, as humans, we label the people in our lives according to how they’ve made us feel.
We judge the book by its cover, before really attempting to read its content first.
In a way, the people who walk in and out of our lives can be thought of as a pack of cards (odd analogy, but just work with me here!)
They start off blank with an unknown type, wrapped up in a shiny, decorative box that we can’t help but want to open. As we get to know them better, that initial perception begins to change as our fingers undo that flap at the top of the box, and we eventually slide out their real face – their real ‘suit’.
Some people in our lives represent the Heart. These are the ones who truly bring joy to our lives, love us unconditionally, and touch us in ways that builds a life-long connection.
Others can represent the Diamond. These are the ones that, although we may or may not be close to them, inspire us with their charisma and ambitions – diamonds in the rough – and allow us to better ourselves through motivation and encouragement.
Then comes the Club. Have you ever met someone who ‘changes face’ so often that you are left unsure of their real intentions? The ones that, at one stage, you befriend and get along with swimmingly, and then suddenly they morph into something else that leaves you wanting to actually grab a club and ‘wallop’ them!? I know I have!
Lastly, we see the Spade. The people who have left painful footprints in our lives, so deep that they may as well have handed us a spade to let us dig our six-feet by ourselves. The ones we’ve had to ‘let go’, ‘walk away from’, and the ones who became our ‘lessons learned’.
Considering human nature, it makes sense that we initially create our ‘opinions’ on a person from the get go because, well, that’s what we do. However, this strongly depends on our way of thinking too. The pessimist, the optimist and the realist may all meet the same person and at the same time, but their mindset controls the image that their heads form.
All in all, regardless of our initial perception of others, it’s only fair that we get to know them before passing any kind of judgement because, well, let’s face it – don’t say that you’ve never fallen face first as you went to greet someone for the first time.
Or was that just me?!
Optimist: Poor thing, she seems so sweet!
Pessimist: What a clutz.
Realist: … she still has grass on her head….
(Image taken from s3.amazonaws.com)